A Very Private Person, That Kat!

Greetings again, those of you who follow true crime cases. Well, here's some interesting news that had my howling with solid belly laughs for the folly of it all...

It seems I've received a hastily scribbled note from the Maryland source who reveals that Kathrynn, the current and still living Mrs. Dr. MacDonald, is a "very very - intensely private - person".

Are those of you who follow the MacDonald 3-Ring Circus smirking yet?

Methinks that THAT is the biggest, smelliest crock of stuff since the whimsy of "that singular hair will free him" chatter. For such an INTENSELY private person, how do we explain the incessant "photos a deux" plastered hither and yon, and the obsessive need for camera coverage on the Metamucil Hour also called "The Larry King Show". Next to wizened (not wise) Larry, I guess she does look decent. Heck, photographed next to the wizened (again, NOT wise) MacD., she looks dated but not old. FYI, keeping one's head up decreases the appearance of age in the neck and jaw. That's an old modelling trick along with gauze filters, etc. But the point of this is that for an INTENSELY private person to own and and engage in the dramatic arts is not quite the career choice apropos to that particular trait.

In retrospect, going the "private person route" under the guise of helping out hubby just glorifies her. In fact, it was a good p.r. move as Kat Girl's own narcissism would not survive the competition with inmate 00131-178's ego. So she goes with the "all for my man" gig. Charming one act drama, suitable for a fading ingenue from a suburban trailer park. But the acting is bad and the story line is overworked. The characters have no depth and the ending is tres predictable. But take heart, Kat Girl...as your marriages have shown you so well - If at first you don't succeed...you know the adage.

Yet, I've give this some thought. For her beloved, Kat Girl has assumed the mantle of PRIVATE - no - INTENSELY private and informed us that she IS so by appearing on t.v., magazines, court, parole hearings, friends, web sites, blah blah blah - just to make sure we KNOW that she is an INTENSELY private kinda gal. We've seen your home and your garage storage. (By the way, that's how we all discovered that I'm not the thief the Kat accused me of being. That was not nice.) We've seen everything except her undies. Maybe that's on the next update. Yeccch!

Ahhh, it warms the cockles of one's heart to learn that the Kathrynn is, beneath that 1982 "look" a shy and retiring, INTENSELY private person who has chosen to sacrifice her own persona at the feet of her demi-god for his awesome attentions and hugely shared affections. In fact, boys and girls, if animals could read, I believe that the doc would have written them letters. As so many folks have written to me lately, I am called to muse over how Kat's beloved doctor has time to mop floors or eat dinner. Gee, maybe he NEEDS to mop up the floors (wink wink).

Listen, the bottom line of all of this sorta wry humor is this word for Kat Girl: Sit down, hang on and shut up because MacD is on a long, dark ride. You are CHOOSING to ride with him, so the sympathy angle is pathetic and weird. Move on, girl, but PLEASE don't imply to ANYONE that you are a very very private person. The only truth in that is the word person.

Ooops, intermission - Let's go get a snack and stay tuned for part two of this sorrowfully "B" melodrama.

That's it for now - so go out there and have a lovely and INTENSELY private day!

Not Now - Not Ever - Never - Ever!!

It has been a long time since my last blog - sorry about that.

But today I have something to share with all of you who follow true crimes generally and the MacDonald Case specifically. As you know, there has been little from the MacDonald camp, public presence-wise since May, 2006. The media has not dealt a kind hand to either inmate MacD or the current-and-still-living Mrs. MacD. Well, sources in Maryland, QUITE close to the couple state that the wedded bliss is now more likened to "Paradise Lost". If a breakup is indeed in the making, how does one break up what essentially never was? Does one annul, since there was no - er uhmm - consummation? Does one divorce? Or does KatWoman simply cut up her gasoline credit card, remove "fastest route - home to prison" from her Mapquest log, and no longer answer when the caller ID shows "Him again, whining louder than the cat" - or do I mean, the Kat...?

Our heretofore reliable source tells us that the enchantment is wearing thin. Were it not for photo ops with Larry King, she would have bailed long ago. No, seriously, the report is that things are less than happy and now Kat Femme doesn't know how to get her big public butt/mouth/hair out of her self-created mess without eating several tons of crow. Somebody quick! See if Emeril (Bam!) or Chef Ramsey might have a good recipe for it au jus, sautee, en croute, or on a bun.

Perhaps the financial strain is getting to her. Phone money for "the man" is not easy to come by - you know, so many girls to call, so little change. Hey, somebody has to feed that hungry monkey. But from the vast amounts of phone "interludes" he has enjoyed, perhaps we ought to call him "Spanky". Consider selling something on e-bay: To start you off - cute prison-industry-made-gift, autographed photo (of himself, not you), hank o' hair, etc.

So, Miz Katthhrryynn (Would somebody buy her a vowel?) can now write a little playlet for her budding thespians, maybe a B movie, a book, a song. a Ken-like MacD doll that comes with scrubs, pajamas, and khaki prison garb - something to turn a buck. Or, she might want to continue to drive to the "slam " but she might carpool with one of MacD's other lovely visitors. Think of the savings - half the gas, drive sharing, some pretty titillating conversation to/from the visit, and of course visit sharing. Kat would have two hours and one of the friendfemmes would have two hours.
How thrilling for all concerned! How "liberating" (well, not exactly, but maybe sorta-kinda in his head.)! We can't wait to see the couple on Larry King giving America's couch potatoes a mini-thrill. Oh, ehough about their pathetic little lives - yawn.

Psssst! The word on the street is that somebody now finds the heartTHROB has become more of a heartBURN... Well, ya' can't say we didn't warn ya' (The mantra to be chanted while spinning or treadmilling is: They told me so - They told me so - They told me so) Let's see - dead wife, triple jail consecutive terms, aging non-gracefully, emotionally stuck at about 35 years of age - Holy DNA, KatGirl, now what?

I HAVE OTHER - BETTER - BIGGER - NEWS!!!
OH, YAY!
There will soon be a Jeffrey MacDonald Information PODCAST. There will be guests, interviews, news, and gossip. Fantastico! No, I am NOT the host of the show. Stay alert and we here at Lucia Central will make sure you know when the first one will be up and ready.

MORE NEWS? YES! MORE! (Can you stand the excitement?)
By early 2007 the hardcover book "Scales of Justice" will be available. The book is in galleys now. Again, be alert for its release.